Humanize README

Reads the current README.md, audits it for AI slop patterns, then rewrites it in a direct, honest, human voice.

Workflow

Step 1 — Read the README

cat README.md

Also check what the project actually is (to rewrite with specifics, not generics):

cat package.json 2>/dev/null | head -20
cat pyproject.toml 2>/dev/null | head -15
ls src/ 2>/dev/null | head -10

Step 2 — Audit for slop

Read references/slop-patterns.md for the full list. Flag these in the README:

High-signal slop patterns:

• Banned buzzwords: seamlessly, robust, scalable, leverage, cutting-edge, comprehensive, empower, intuitive, powerful, game-changer
• 2026-era hedging/filler: "it's worth noting", "let's explore", "this is designed to", "makes it easy to", "enables developers to", "ensures", "has been designed"
• Generic openers starting with "In today's...", "This powerful tool...", "This repository aims to..."
• Feature lists with empty adjectives: "Blazing fast", "Enterprise-grade", "Intuitive API"
• Suspiciously polished completeness with no honest gaps
• Conclusions that philosophize about the project
• Uniform sentence length — every sentence the same rhythm (burstiness check)
• No personal voice — no "why it exists", no honest limitations, no tradeoffs mentioned

Step 3 — Rewrite

Rewrite the README applying these rules:

Voice:

• Write like you'd explain the project over coffee — direct, specific, a bit casual
• Use the actual tech names (not "modern technologies" or "industry-standard tools")
• Keep code blocks, commands, and links exactly as they are
• Preserve the structure (sections) but rewrite the prose

For each section:

• Project description / intro — one or two sentences: what it does, why it exists. No superlatives.
• Features — remove adjectives, add specifics. Not "Fast" → state the actual number if known, otherwise just name the feature plainly
• Installation / Usage — keep as-is if already good; strip any "Welcome to the getting started..." filler
• Why this project — if it exists and sounds generic, rewrite with a real reason or remove it
• Contributing / Closing — strip "star this repo", philosophy, or over-long contributing guides

Tone rules:

• Honest about gaps: "Not tested on Windows", "Still experimental", "Works on my machine"
• Varied sentence lengths — short and long, not all the same
• No emoji unless they were already there (and even then, fewer)
• No exclamation marks unless genuinely warranted

Do NOT:

• Add content that wasn't there — only rewrite existing content
• Change technical accuracy — keep the same claims, just strip the fluff
• Make it curt to the point of being unhelpful — clarity > brevity
• Touch badge rows ([![...](...)](#) lines) — CI badges, version badges, license badges stay exactly as-is

Step 4 — Output

Output the full rewritten README in a single fenced markdown code block so it can be copied directly.

Before the block, briefly note what you changed (2-3 bullet points max).

For full banned phrase list and before/after examples: references/slop-patterns.md